Thursday, November 15, 2007

Nothing to do with pizza

Let me quote Rasa Malaysia "When life is hectic and very busy, blog does suffer."

I know I have not been updating as much as I want to. Life at work have been so busy, complicated, messy, stressful, nasty, no clue what I am doing. Every time when I am in this position, time and time again I find myself thinking of .....


How did I end up studying Information Technology? How did I end up in the Computer Networking line? Do I see myself still in this area 5 years down the road? Can I still take the darn annoying phone calls at the wee hours in the morning? Will my face be able to take the frequent frowning when I'm stressed up? Will I get permanent eye bags with those late night conferences? I don't want to end up looking like a obasan. Will I still be able to tolerate all the back stabbing and office politics of the corporate world? How do I know if I am making the right or wrong decision? What if I end up wasting time? What if I end up on the other side of the fence but the grass is dead and there's shit hole every where?

The other times, I find myself staring at universities website. Downloading course summaries, admission forms, even corresponding with the dean on email. I often think of studying again. When I was 17, just after SPM, people would laugh at me when I told them I plan to graduate before I turn 21, and then be on my way to Masters at 25. I did manage to graduate one month before my 21st birthday. And now it's only one month away from my 24th birthday. I only have 13 months left before I don't get to say "Now... who was the one laughing at me?" If there’s a job called student, I’ll be the first to send in my resume. Study and get paid. I only wish.


When I put all this to text, it gives me a little bit of perspective. I seem to know what I want. A different job, and to start studying again. I used to be so determined and head strong in making decisions. Maybe because I was young and naïve also la.. but it worked of me. I used to be able, used to be so confident in myself. But now, I wonder why I just can not Just Do It. What the hell am I contemplating about? Arghghgh! *pulls hair and bang heads to the keyboard* I have changed so much.

...

*sign* … no money no study. Money issue also la. New job might mean lower income. I continue to work because it's good money. *sign* Studying part time won’t be easy. But if I study full time, I won’t have income to support myself. I don’t want to depend on my parents, I don’t feel like taking a load either. …. *signnnnnn* I wonder if some elderly rich lady is looking for a god daughter to look after.... *dreams again* Maybe terpaksa take loan also lor hor?

I just such a greedy person la. I want it all. But I can’t have it all.

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16 pieces of worms:

"Joe" who is constantly craving

hey..i also got the same problem la..i tell the whole world i want to quit my job..now all my friends have tendered and yet i still stand..

going for a holiday might just work, but then again you will be so tempted with student life..but hey..its never too late for learning..

Cutie

I also want to go back to study and do something I want but then money is the issue. Don't want to use up the savings that my bf and I have been saving so far. Sigh.... WHY WHY WHY??? Hmmm, why not we all open up a shop and do business.. hehe...

beachlover

Don't worried,take it easy.Everything happen for a reason,I believe.Patience is the key!..Life is a journey,believe me.There is so much you have to learn and see in life,just take it slowly,maybe stop and smell some beautiful flower if you're busy..hahaha!!sorry,I sound like ah moh!!

MeiyeN

omg...so many questions! no worries, you aren't alone.. i asked da same things over and over again to myself and still found no appropriate answers... life goes on, i missed my studying days, like you.. really wish to turn back da time cause it's quite impossible to study again considering that am getting old :(

chenboon

hello, u r still very young, ok.
my gang already 30++, they are still ok... i left IT when I am 29, not too terrible also... ha ha...
anyway, delicious pizza...

Precious Pea

I was trying very hard to read your frustration..but then, your cheesy ooey-gooey pizza kept pulling away my attention leh.

ddkwh

well...i have no idea what u wanna do next. seems like so many questions. why dont just take up culinary, considering ur passion for food & cooking/baking.

if you want to do it...stop thinking and just do it while ur still young. things will be alot more difficult if u keep dragging ur feet...

dats my 2 cents anyway...

wmw

I've ask myself questions about life now and then. In my past, there seems to be a cycle...most of the time, life would be fantastic but there will always be a short period in between now and then where I'll start reflecting on my life. I've gone passed those times...now, I'm just enjoying the life I lead. Do what you want to do, change what you can change...Just feel good, and everything else will fall into place.

wenching & esiong

Though this post is not bout pizza, I find the pizza really delicious. Feel like taking a bite.

Not sure of what to say to make you feel better. Think wisely of what you want and cheer up! :)

ilovepearly

Skip everything else, I just love cheese!

team bsg

its so easyyyyyyyyy...but sooooooo difficult too. u neber mention Men ? or Boys hahaha

possibly food and cafes ? studies ?
its a life long process my dear !

We always quote from our all time fav movie - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where Charlie replied " I am just happy to be here ! " in case you haven't seen the movie plse do by all means !
Cheers !

teckiee

joe: I guess we all need the guts to make that step

cutie: thats y lo.. we canot have everything.. have to let go to gain. dont you wish u can have it all?

beachlover: hahahaha here flowers no smell one lah..mot of them anyway...bunga tahi ayam got la.. but so smelly! hahahaha

*suddenly i just remember the field of flowers from one of Lee Ping's post*

MeiYen: Hey, like joe said, its never too late to study.

ChenBoon: hhahahah! but aiyah, i dont want to wait till i turn 29 to move out of something not in my interest. Young or not no diff lo. We all turn old.

Pea: hahahahaha dont go with that much of cheese.. killed me! hahaha

ddkwh: dunno if its the right move to turn my hobby into something i would work at. I quit ballet after 12 years because i felt it was work, and it stressed me up... i dont something like that to happen again. It's not that i dont want to Just Do It... got lot of other factor to look at. mainly $$$ =( want to sponsor me? hahahah I'll be you and OJJ's chef for a year FOC.

WMW: You live one of the lifes I admire... but i got a long way to go... some day lo..

wenching & esiong: Thanks =)

ilovepearly: hahahahah but fattening la.. and that much cheese can give heart attacks! ...i dont think i'll put that much cheese on a pizza again.

BSGs: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA getting old for boys, I'm thinking men now. HAHAHAHA. I do wish I can be Charlie, but I'm way too material to be him.

ai wei

cheer up cheer up cheerrr Up!
be optimistic and think positive! that's wat i keep myself up when i face difficulties o even fail in my exam. aiks~

~Christine~Leng

I often think about graduating soon and start working too... Well.. second thought, study life is still way way better right?
Just think of the bright side. Everyday is a new beginning gal! ;)

daphne

hey teckiee, decisions in life is never easy and we will find ourselves in cross-roads time and time again. I hope you will find your direction soon.

Remember, no matter what happen- YOU have to chase your dreams. And dreams do come true.

teckiee

ai wei: i want wait to say what you are saying to me..lol! i want to study again

Christine Leng: lol! years back i'm thinking 'cant wait to work'... now i'm thinking cant wait to study!

daphne: wouldnt it be wonderful if we didnt have to chase anything... come come all float towards me ...heheh

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